Dr. Brené Brown's book changed my life. It could inspire you to become a more connected human, too.
Hello wonderful human
The HUMANS:CONNECTING team and I have created this blog to be – like our podcast – a place where you get great information about loneliness and human connection and feel supported, challenged and inspired to become a more connected human.
Books and podcasts are a great source of information and inspiration for me. I want to share with you the resources that have influenced how the team and I approach our work AND are sources of support and inspiration for me.
And you’re reading our first book review.
This book changed my life. It influenced me towards becoming more connected to my authentic self, and by extension, with the world beyond.
‘The Gifts of Imperfection’ by Dr. Brené Brown
I first read this book in 2016 soon after I realised that I was experiencing loneliness. I bought the book as part of a book-buying binge, and it languished on my Kindle for a few months.
I began reading it soon after starting a coaching course that I’d hoped would help me through my loneliness. During that course, I began to identify and then sit with my sources of shame (very happy to talk more about it if you’ve got questions about the course, as I’m now a coach within it…).
And if you are at all familiar with Dr Brown and her work, you’ll know that there is no one better at making the horribly uncomfortable topic of shame and the things about us that we wish to hide from ourselves and the world more approachable and empowering.
Dr Brown’s amazing TedTalks on shame and vulnerability were part of the program’s coursework. I remember watching them on the subway as I commuted home from work one day. It was one of those moments where the people around me melted away and it was just Dr Brown speaking directly to my soul.
That same night, I crawled into bed and I opened my Kindle. I realised that I’d finished a book the previous night, so I searched my downloads for a new book to read. ‘The Gifts of Imperfection’ was sitting there patiently: ‘Oh, I’ve already got a book from that TedTalk lady . Clever me!’
I stayed up well past my bedtime as I devoured the first few chapters. The book – just like the TedTalks – spoke directly to my soul.
It was from that moment that Dr Brené Brown became my intellectual crush.
Not only did she become my intellectual crush, she put her arm around me and told me that the things that I was running from in my life – the things that caused me shame and that I wanted to hide from myself and everybody else – were the things that made me wonderfully unique. Those things were, as the title clearly states, my gifts.
This book changed my life. I can say that without this book and the impact it had on me, you would not be reading these words. I would not have begun working on loneliness and human connection.
I really don’t know where I’d be.
The powerful reframe you need
The reframe offered by Dr Brown that the things in my past that caused shame were my gifts if I stopped a moment and courageously sat with them and learned from them was the reframe I needed.
It gave me the courage – well, enough courage – to sit with my sources of shame and to begin speaking about them with people who’d earned the right to hear them.
In my work over the past years, the reframe I offer about your loneliness containing the key to unlock the connection you need has been very powerful for people seeking our support to learn from their loneliness and to get the connection that they need. It was inspired by Dr Brown in this book.
I love this book. I’ve bought it so many times and given it away to friends, but I have the 10th anniversary edition in hardcover, and it’s never leaving our ownership.
Every time I reread it – which is about once a year – I always get a new insight. It still feels like all her work is written especially for me.
However, I’m very happy that she shares the science-backed insights, wisdom, stories and humour with you, too.
And Dr Brown, should you ever read this, I’d LOVE to have a chat with you selfishly for myself or even for the HUMANS:CONNECTING audience on our podcast. DM me! I’ll try to keep cool…
Have you read it? What do you think? Did I inspire you to begin sitting with your shame and those things you want to hide from yourself and the world?
Where to find it
‘The Gifts of Imperfection’ can be found in all good bookstores and through your favourite online book retailer.
That’s it for this review
While we’ve come the end of this review, there’s so much more content on how you can become a more connected human to come.
The next article is a guide to dealing with people who can’t commit and can frustrate you when you are seeking connection with them. If you subscribe to our mailing list, you won’t miss that article or any future content on our blog and podcast when it’s released.
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Until next time, be awesomely you.
~ Phil
Important:
All views expressed above are the author’s and are intended to inform, support, challenge and inspire you to consider the issue of loneliness and increase awareness of the need for authentic connection with your self, with those most important to you and your communities as an antidote to loneliness. Unless otherwise declared, the author is not a licensed mental health professional and these words are not intended to be crisis support. If you’re in crisis, this page has some links for immediate support for where you may be in the world.
If you’re in crisis, please don’t wait. Get support now.
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